Redefining “Manly”

Usually when you hear the term “manly”, you think of lumber jacks, cowboys or unattractive women. We also have the concept, as men, that doing something “manly” means being tough, or ignoring emotion. While I’m all for some of the steriotypical definitions of manliness, there are several concepts of being a man that just don’t work out for the man, at all. I’d like to point out a couple here. Since it is Valentine’s Day today, I’ll focus on a few that tend to make men look very boyish instead of manly this particular time of year. However, putting this to work for you throughout the whole year would make you a real manly man in anywoman’s eyes. For instance: I made this frozen pizza into a heart (not on Valentines Day) just to say “Look, honey! I’m a romantic man!” …and it took me less than the time it took to preheat the oven. Seriously, guys…just put a little effort into it. This is possibly the worst thing I’ve ever tried and she loved it!

Terrible Heart Shaped Pizza

Terrible Heart Shaped Pizza

Your a guy. I get it. You like to hang with “your boys” and watch the game and drink and scratch yourself. Seriously, I get it, but let’s not forget what most guys are really after. Uh, huh! WOMEN! So why is it in today’s culture most men I see, (acting all tough and hangin with the guys) don’t have a great woman?- or- Maybe they do, but it’s far from a great relationship? Guys tend to focus on one thing… (insert joke here)… the chase. Call it hunting. We like to chase the skirts, as it’s been said. We go out, observe behavior and pick our best shot. If the man is skilled at the hunt, he may end up with a woman on his arm after all. But then what? Yea, that’s about as far as us men usually think. If the guy just wants to catch and release then he stays a boy and continually practices the chase. The problem I see is that every man I know is truly lonely and hurting for deep relationship. It just doesn’t come out in ways women show it…or want it for that matter.

Since I’m not giving a whole relationship seminar here, let’s focus on a few things guys can be really great at, but mess up all the time in the name of being “manly”:

  1. Romance. Big surprise! Guys are great at romance during the chase but within the context of a relationship, they lose focus and endurance. Today’s idea is that romance is for softies. BIG MISUNDERSTANDING. Remember romance used to be the man’s game. Great men have always played it well. Dominating world rulers have been amazingly romantic and manly at the same time. It’s time we REDEFINE ROMANCE: “maning-up” and getting something done when it needs to be done, like pleasing your woman no matter what the cost. Blow her mind with your skills. Is she pleased by flowers? Chocolates? Maybe not. Maybe she wants to see more thought put into it. Maybe it IS affection in all it’s varying forms. You’re better than this guy you are known as. MAN UP! THE PAYOFF:pleasure in return!!! Not just physical responses…but ALSO emotional responses that will help your ego. That’s is a good thing for you both. THEBONUS: both of you will feel more confident in your abilities to “get ‘er dun!” and you reduce stress in the relationship making it more fun the more you romance her. BE MANLY!
  2. Kindness. You don’t have to be a poet or have money just to be kind to her. I know women who swear they are married to the most amazing man, but he isn’t artistic or skilled at much at all…he’s just very nice to her. BE A MAN and stop bullying your wife or lady friend. Every time you say a cutting remark to her she will hold back something you WANT. She’s not going to do that on purpose as you assume, either. It’s just the way women are, mostly. It’s a defense mechanism and you know it…that’s why you are nice to them during the chase. DUH! THE PAYOFF: If you treat her nice (like you do in the chase) she will LIKE to be near you and DO what You WANT more often. If you are usually making jokes and ripping on her, BE A MAN and start remembering you wanted to take care of this flower in the first place. That’s right it was YOUR idea to like her in the first place.
  3. Ya know what… you don’t need a #3. Stop being a little boy who needs his diaper changed. You still have time to be AMAZING. Get ‘er dun!!!!

*I should be a MAN coach. :)